MUMBLES COMMUNITY COUNCIL WISH ALL OUR READERS AND CONTRIBUTORS
A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Once again we would remind drivers that drinking and driving do not go together. If you drive, don't drink.
One person from Caswell has already been banned and fined heavily, see the report in the Evening Post, page 16 Thursday 3rd December
What a great idea for sending Christmas cards!
The Swansea City Council has set-up a system on their web site for residents to send out an e-mail Christmas card.
Look up www.swansea.gov.uk/ecards and follow the instructions, it is very simple and there are eight different cards to choose from.
The details appear in the Evening Post, Thursday 23 Dec.
Lets hope they will set-up a system for Birthday cards!!!
OIL FUMES CAUSE PRIMARY SCHOOL TO CLOSE.
A report in the Evening Post Thurs. 3rd Dec. gives details of oil fumes leaking from the boiler at Whitestone Primary school, West Cross.
The Head teacher, Margaret Jones said the boiler began to smell after a new type of bio-oil had been poured into the school's heating system last Thursday. It is expected that the oil will be removed over the next 48 hours.
The fumes, it has been stated are not noxious, but as a precaution classes for years one and two have been cancelled as their class rooms are close to the the boiler house.
Notice has been given that due to this problem the Christmas fair is postponed until Friday 11th December. Don't miss it!
MIMBLE FINGERS CRAFT FAIR.
This popular craft fair takes place, once again in Victoria hall, Dunns lane on Saturday, 5th December between 10 am and 4.30 pm.
Admission is free. There are limited spaces left for stall-holders call 01792-232644 for details.
A Seafaring exhibition is being held at Swansea Museum from Friday
18th December, where a dingy from the Mumbles Yacht Club will be
the centre piece and panels will showcase local sailors who have
competed in the Olympic games. Also featured are pictures and
stories from the 1930's.
Swansea Council is behind this venture. For more details visit
www.swansea.gov.uk/swanseamuseum or phone 653763
MUMBLES POLICING IS NOW LINKED WITH TOWNHILL!
The Evening Post, Reporter Richard Youle tells us, in the 1st December issue, that two response officers based at Mumbles will have to be briefed at Townhill at the beginning of their shift. Chief Supt. Mark Mathias says they will then head to Mumbles.
The Chairman of Mumbles Community Council, Brian Arthur said " I have no concerns as long as there are the same amount of officers, and they respond in the normal way".
We must trust that these officers can get to Mumbles from Townhill speedily enough to deal with any problems that might arise.
(Editors comments only, not the views of the Mumbles Community Council)
CHRISTMAS FILMS by Mumbles Movies.
These will be shown at Ostreme Centre, Newton Road, Mumbles on
Friday 18th December and Saturday 19th December
Don't miss them.
Energy Needs For Swansea Solved ?
British-US company Clean Coal has been given the go ahead to investigate the potential for a system of withdrawing gas from coal seams that lie under Swansea Bay reported the Evening Post on December 10th.
The company assures critics that it will have no environmental impact on marine life, shipping and other users. The process is not new but recent developments have made it more efficient. There would not be any platforms or visual paraphernalia to see and much less emissions than the traditional method of coal mining.
If the scheme goes ahead it has the potential to supply Swansea's energy needs for a long time into the future.
A public exhibition will take place before the test drilling takes place at the beginning of next year. Fears have been expressed, by contributors to the Evening Post's website, about the possibility of a threat to current traditional methods of coal extraction but all though it should to be considered in the wider context of the need to identify new methods of energy production due to rapidly reclining resources.
Make sure you take the opportunity to visit the exhibition to be advertised in the new year.
CONGRATULATIONS TO WHITESTONE PRIMARY SCHOOL
As reported on Wednesday 16th December in the Evening Post, we would also congratulate the Whitestone Primary school on their achievement. This came from praise by Estyn for their work about environmental issues and global citizenship. Well done Whitestone.
GOODBYE TO HORACE PHILLIPS.
The residents of Mumbles are mourning the loss of Horace Phillips, a well known and respected figure in Mumbles. His wife, Peggy was a Councillor with the Mumbles Community Council for many years and we send our condolences to her and her family.
(See a full report in the Evenong Post, by Emma Jones 17-12-09)
POLICE ROADSHOW - MUMBLES
The police will be in Mumbles this weekend, at the Co-op, Boots and Somerfields giving advice about crime prevention during the Christmas period.
Health & Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs
(To be taken with a pinch of salt!)
Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also
consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture,
particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note,
permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To
avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request
that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise
nuisance.
While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety
regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate
seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and
orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should
watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd
observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her
glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued
with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and
Glory.
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.
You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is
inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of
any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer
from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary
action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full
investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on
full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.
Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the
guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many
rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that
due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph
are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne
particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little
and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment
upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his
equine rights.
We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be
redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc,
gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential
risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift
alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipients
name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in
order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or
satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice
regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also
advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.
The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of
allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice
cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a
suitable alternative.
Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus.
Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be
prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.
Away in a Manger - No Crib for a bed - Social services???????
ARE YOU 'UP' TO TRYING THIS PUZZLE ABOUT THE ENGLISH
LANGUAGE? Don't get tongue tied!
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. The peasant decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
6. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
7. I did not object to the object.
8. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
9. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
10. They were too close to the door to close it.
11. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
12. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
13. o help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
14. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
15. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
16. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
17. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
18. Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
19. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One
goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you
have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do
you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and
play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run
and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill
in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That
is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are
out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other
two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting,
why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP
for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report.
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the
silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the
house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has
real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP
an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be
dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped
UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the
proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost a quarter of the page and can add UP to about
thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list
of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you
don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to
rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is
clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP for now my time is UP,
so........it is time to shut UP!
Oh . . . one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at
night? U-P
THE MUMBLES TRAIN IS SET TO RETURN???
A report in the Evening Post, Tuesday 29th December, by Reporter, Richard Youle suggests that "plans to reintroduce a scaled-down version of the world's first passenger-carrying train in Mumbles have been floated".
'FLOATED' is most probably one way, but 'pigs might fly' is another expression which comes to mind!
How will, less than one mile of of narrow gauge track, between Oystermouth Square and the pier represent this world famous passenger train?
The Mumbles land-train is doing a grand job for the tourists, who wish to see the glory of the whole of Swansea Bay and the beautiful view as they approach Mumbles.
Surely we should be looking to spend such vast amounts of monies on improvements to Oystermouth Square, Underhill Park and a bye-pass of Mumbles village or a one-way system which would allow traffic to flow freely around the village centre and of course better parking facilities.
The other idea that has been suggested in the past, is the installation of a suspended mono-rail, running the whole length of Swansea Bay and beyond. Should this not be considered ?
(This is solely the view of the Editor, not that of the Mumbles Community Council.
If you have any comments regarding this matter, please email them to the Editor not to MCC.)
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